When I Get On.....

Simplicity......

2007-06-12T06:36:00.000-05:00

"Life is but a dream to me/I dont wanna wake up/30 odd years without having my cake up...."

-Jay-Z "Beach Chair"

Strangely, this hit home as I sat here this morning. Took out the trash and stopped for a moment to let nature itself engulf me. Im realizing that I may have written a check that I dont have any forthcoming idea how to cash. I made the statement that I wanted to have a house, a home, my own, by the time I was 30. Ive always been known for making grandiose plans, but the things is...I always delivered. I was thought a long time ago that if you say something, you better be able to back it up. A man's word is all that he has and I have given my word that a home will be purchased by at least August 30, 2012. Believe it or not, that's the deadline. A physical deadline set for a dream that may be blame near unattainable for someone in my situation and shoes. Still, Ive set it as a goal and Im focused on making it happen.

My reason for bringing this up is this: Ive always wanted my life to be simple. I grew up in a semi-single parent home and I made a vow that my children would never do that. I grew up living in "the hood" and though it made me who I am today, I actually would have loved to not have a landlord and not hear sirens and gunshots on a regular basis. A friend of mine said it best, "Southside is an island." With this being true, its actually more akin to the island from the movie, "The Condemned". I didnt want to raise a family in a place where crack is smoked so freely and D-boy culture is so prevalent that Ive seen little 9 year olds ready and willing to jump into the game. Call me whatever you want, but the first thing as a man that I am supposed to be is the head and protector of my family. Regardless of my circumstances, I have always wanted more. More for my future family, more for my current family, and yes, more for myself.

The house represents that more. It represents that slice of Americana, I guess. Im not sure how many other 5 years old sat and had dreams of having a family, being a great father, having a great career, but I was one. I wanted to be the type of man that my father grew into these past few years, but I wanted to be that at a young age. I wanted to be someone that was the problem solver and the question answerer. Well, the first question that every woman has probably asked every man is: "Baby, what we gon' do?" I was asked that and my crazy behind responded...."We're going to get a house. Point blank. We have no choice. We have to do it and its going to happen within the next four years." Almost immediately, these words escaped my mouth which led me to believe that my soul, my very soul answered that question in faith. My flesh on the other hand said other things, but my heart and my soul answered. I believe in faith.

I dont claim to be the type of person who is deeply religious, but I am spiritual. I believe that there is a divine force in the universe that shapes, makes, molds and guides us through the journey of enlightenment that is life. That force to me is God and you have to take time to acknowledge God or else God will not acknowledge you. Your Spirit will guide you when you take time to listen to it, that Spirit is from God and therefore is God telling you what to do. Are you listening? Ive started hearing the most simple answers now that Ive stopped trying to force one into my mind. If you've never talked to yourself, do it today. Ask yourself a question and wait for your Spirit to give you an answer. It may not come in the form of words, it may just be a clear and precise thought that resonates like a neon light in your mind. I tell no lies, but my Spirit manifests itself. Having time to really sit down and with no choice to get to know myself, God, and my surroundings, I found out how powerful your Spirit man/woman can be. And its downright scary.

Ive gotten back into the practice of allowing my Spirit man to control my actions. Thinking before acting. Shutting off rationality and going off that "gut instinct". Following the nagging premonitions that say "Hey, just say this right here and be done with it." Hence, my life is now is a state of complete simplicity. Are you living to keep things simple or are you working to keep things difficult? Ask your Spirit, see what answer you get.

Uno,

Jou

Motivation.....

2007-06-06T05:19:00.000-05:00

"That what makes me an individual. It's what makes me...me. I don't talk with a weak tongue, and I don't speak without being able to fight when necessary. I also don't place myself around people that can't handle it. So now you see why me and Joulz get along so well." -Entity Starr

Remember the song "Ryde or Die Chick" by The L.O.X.? Even though I was in my teens, it was just something to say that came as a catch phrase, but it was never something that was truly exemplified or embodied in anyone I met. That is...until NOW. I recall a few months back sitting in a theater looking at the movie "300" and thinking to myself, "You know, Leonidas has a queen that is willing to die for him. A queen who will speak her mind and dare someone to say anything back to her. A queen who is secure enough and intelligent enough to handle herself in ANY situation, be it good or bad." I said it before and I will say it again, art DOES imitate life. (Well, its supposed to, at least.)

When I was a child, I daydreamed of having a girl that would play with me, share her cookies with me, you know, sleep on my mat with me during naptime. As I became a pre-teen, I was more concerned with whether or not, she would "let me see hers, if I showed her mines" and if there was no crew and somebody tried to jump me, she would jump in the fight with me. (It may not have been for much of anything except distraction, but just long enough for me to right cross this cat and "dunk" the other one. LOL!) As as teen, I only hoped that she would indulge all of my pubescent fantasies long enough for me to experience whatever inexperienced tryst we could create. As an adult, these things seem so far away and completely innocent. As an adult, I search for the most perfection that we in our imperfection can have. A wife, a lover, a nurturer, a sister, a best friend, a confidant, a partner. Someone who does the adult version of all the things that I searched for when I was younger. Im inclined to believe that every man dreams of this.

"Come back with your shield... or on it." -Queen Gorgo

In all of my endeavors for the past two years of my life, the highs and the lows, whenever I go to face anything, exciting, new, ignorant, whatever, I have been sent away with a kiss and a statement that sounds pretty much like that one. A good, strong woman can MAKE you feel like you're about to go fight a war. Just you. No weapons, no army, just you. A good woman is supposed to make you get out of bed and face the day because you do it for her. She gives you purpose. She completes you. I hear a lot of new age thought processes when it comes down to women and what they mean to a lot of mean and sometimes, it saddens me. I talk about sex pretty frequently, but when did every woman become nothing more than a walking blow up doll? I say this because in a recent conversation with a female emcee, she stated: "Everytime, someone asks me to be on a song with them, why does it seem like they always want to talk about having a threesome? Or they want me to talk about fellatio (that was actually edited...she didnt say fellatio. She's a bit more graphic than that.) or how fine they are and these are some cats that I look at like Ewww!" It brought laughter, but at the same time, it made me think. Have I been guilty of the same type of objectification? Have I treated women like interchangeable masturbation utensils? I answered that question. "Yeah, yeah I have." It actually made me a bit sick to my stomach. I know for a fact that there are at least 3 women who have a "F*ck you, Julian, Im tired of your b*llsh*t!" mantra that they chant every morning. I apologize. I was young and stupid and I didnt understand you or need to be with you. I use what I learn with them as a blueprint of all the things NOT to do with my better half now. Hell, its worked so far and she still kisses me on the forehead as I bow my head down to her. If that's not symbolic, then I dont know what is. I serve God, above all else, but right after, she is.

"Mason Betha said it best, girls roll hard then men do." -Joulz Il "All Day Long"

I woke up this morning, took a long, hard look at myself and then asked outloud....."Where did that chubby cheeked little kid go?" Ive got facial hair, bills, a job, responsibility, and opinions. The most I ever had to worry about then was making sure that I walked to whatever school I was going to and got there on time. I miss being a child. I miss the harmless, care-free days when there was no Persian army, so to speak. When the arguments, that you got into were petty and resolved within five minutes, so everyone could go back to playing football, tackle football at that, in the middle of the street. Those days are gone and though I miss them, I understand them. All things must change. Some for the better, some for the worst, but all things must change. Im a man now. Not because I say it, not because Im a certain age, but because my actions and my mind frame proceed me as such and Im proud of it. For the first time in my life, Im truly happy and understanding of what it means to be a man. Why do I say that? What does that have to do with having a good woman? EVERYTHING!

I still want someone to lay on my mat when I nap. I still want someone who will share her animal cookies with me. I still want someone who will "let me see hers if I let her see mines". I still want someone who will indulge themselves in my fantasies. And above all, I still want someone who will jump into a fight with me, if nothing more than a distraction.........a ryde or die chick.

Uno,

Jou

Relevancy....

2007-06-05T06:22:00.000-05:00

"You're born. You live. You die. You dont want to be just another waster of space."

-Willard Sneed

Start your day off with a moment of reflective thought. Think about yesterday for five minutes and weigh the PROS and the CONS of YOUR ACTIONS. What was important to you? What was important to someone else that you missed or just didnt see? Were you the best person that you could possibly be yesterday? If the answer is no.....then, DO BETTER! We all have bad days, horrible days, messed off days that no one can seem to pull you out of, but how you overcome is the key.

Yes, I know that I sound a bit self improvement "seminar-ish" (if such a word exists. LOL!), but its simply because I noticed that a lot of people around me, including myself, arent being everything that they could be. Today's focus for me is to be a better husband to be. I admit my understanding of women is a bit of an enigma. Having been raised by a strong, black woman, I find that women are beautiful and easy creatures to understand. Having a strong, black woman in my life, I find that I dont KNOW anything. LOL! She is the single most independent, co-dependent, incredibly strong, dainty, leader, follower, outspoken, quiet, individual that I have ever met. I sit in awe and sometimes complete confusion because I honestly dont know WHAT IN THE WORLD Ive gotten myself into!

"Our conception is a story so beautifully written in/So beautiful is the bond the we boastfully blended in....." -Joulz Il

She's so delicate and I guess she has always been that way and as each day passes, she becomes softer and softer towards me, towards my thoughts, towards my feelings, and towards my outlook on life. Im not perfect by a long shot, but when you're used to someone being so thick-skinned. Its a little surprising, to say the least, when they change. She has become this great nurturer and I, in turn, have no idea what to do with her. I laid awake dumbfounded last night and for the first time in my life....I realized that I, in all truth and unequivocal non-denial, that I WAS WRONG! I didnt sleep well at all because I realized that I was being a complete idiot and she was honestly right. Im not one to bring up religion, but I honestly believe that I was being spoken to and shown greater things last night and they all had something to do with her. (Well except for the part where gas was 1.11, but hey, I think that was just some wishful thinking on my end. That or gas REALLY is about to go back down to 1.11. Aw'wight!)

Im not too much of the stereotypical "man" that I dont know when to apologize and accept that I was being an idiot, but sometimes words are not enough. My strong point yesterday was about actions:

"I've been doing all the things that everyone has been telling me that I should do and now, NO ONE wants to notice it. You mean to tell me that not only do I have to DO this entire list of things, but now I also have to go and TELL people who should have the common decency to pay attention to all the things that are going on, EXACTLY whats going on. This is utter and complete crap. I have never been in a situation where a man was doing the right thing and STILL had to defend himself!"

This is what a disagreement looks like when you actually read the transcripts. I was allowed that luxury in my dream last night. I was actually given the transcripts to a heated discussion and was allowed to see just how mean spirited I could still be. It didnt paint a beautiful picture with lilacs, lilies and daffodils. It was more like the weather that we have been having here in Texas, it was pretty nasty. And it was going against statements like:

"You dont understand. I just want you to do it FOR me. Nothing else. Just do this FOR ME."

How can a person honestly fight with that? I was calm soon after I heard those words. Why? Because I simply cant fight with someone who just wants me to do the best I can towards them. Im so much of someone's life at this point that every single thing that I do is pretty much for them. Every step I take, every move I make, Im a part of them. (Sorry, Sting, but it fit the movement!) She wants the best from me at all times and honestly, my today is filled with trying to make sure that all of my tomorrows are spent showing her that I understand exactly what I am to her: Im RELEVANT.

Are you relevant to someone? Does your existence TRULY mean something to someone? Is there one person out there who truly and honestly loves every aspect of you? If not, let's work on our relevancy.

Uno,
Jou

Alive and Well.......

2007-06-04T04:31:00.000-05:00

"A quiet man says nothing and moves effortlessly as to never be found or figured out."

Having stated that I say hello again. There hasnt been much to talk about or any really big dealings as of late. Ive received a lot of emails and inquiries about what Ive been doing musically and whats going to happen, so I decided to respond using this medium. Honestly.......I QUIT! It wasnt that hard to do. I just looked toward my better half and I looked inside myself and I just stopped. Scrapped plans for idle things that people would never care about and I stopped. Stepped away from the AKG and put it back in that comfortable little box that it came in. Ive been using my time to focus more on family, focus more on friends, focus more on life. It came to my attention that there were a ton of 30+ rappers who had never made it and it donned on me that I just didnt want to be one of them. It brings a laughter to my soul to see someone who should know better doing the following:

1) Standing on a stage in an airbrushed t-shirt swearing that this is their time

2) Rapping about things that only a 13 year old who hasnt lived any type of life would care about

3) Getting emotional because ANYONE tells them that they suck

4) Dodging questions about potential things they may have lied about

5) Copying the style of whatever is hot for the moment and hoping it pays off

6) Begging people to go to a store and purchase whatever cd they managed to piece together

7) Begging a promoter to put them on a two bit hip hop show that only 35-40 NON PAYING people will show up to

Its mind boggling! The pursuit of being famous came to a screeching halt when I realized that I was an intelligent and surprisingly uber-talented individual who could put more effort in working for a Forbes company than trying to get some type of contractor job in which I honestly DO NOT know how much I can bring in to support myself. I still love music with all of my heart. My love for REAL hip-hop will never die, but as far as trying to be some type of poster child for Dallas music, like some, Im just doing me. Living life, being alive, and staying well. In the grand scheme of things, Ive done music for what seems like forever and Im ONLY 25 years old! Thats over half of my life devoted to something that NEVER truly pulled its weight in my life. Good riddance! LOL! There are still beats that touch my very psyche and pull me to say things that people will probably NEVER hear. There are still songs that have been created that the world will NEVER listen to. Why?! Simply because........it just NOT THAT IMPORTANT! If I never get on, I dont honestly think that I would care. Im free.

Dutifully Openly Intelligently Noticeably Gainfully Mentally Emotionally

Free. Its a wonderful feeling. Ive stomped on people who literally have pestered me for so long and Ive met people who have been some of the greatest people that I will ever know. Its time for a new phase in life. A phase that isnt defined by the phrases "Oh, uh, I do music.", "Well, yeah, Ive got a label." or "This is our year." A phase that signifies that I am exactly what I am. Grown. Mature. An adult.

I realized something back in Feb.: Everyone has an opinion and an ego and if you throw a mountain (yes, a mountain) at someone's ego and blatantly state the obvious to them (i.e. "Yes, Im THAT good and yes, I KNOW THAT! Lets all go forth with the same mindframe!"), it takes them FOREVER to get over it. I have never seen more emotionally charged, "I need a hug", MEN as the ones that I have come across in the Dallas Hip Hop scene. People who are so offended by someone's presence that they feel the need to alienate anyone who doesnt immediately conform to their little heart shaped box of ideals that people should be. I dont apologize for much unless I am wrong and if getting on a stage and speaking to a crowd like you're not just at Jinx, but you're actually in front of thousands is wrong, then I apologize. I had a harsh realization that people will support anyone as long as its NOT the person that they see they should be supporting. That's too much like right. Let's get behind someone who may not have their production up to quality or let's get behind the person who seems to be humble enough to tolerate our BS or let's get behind the guy who we think is gullible or let's get behind the guy who wont even stand up for himself...........well what about the guy who actually has an opinion? No!

LOL! So far, within the last six months alone, Ive become jaded by music here in the city. Ive seen icons have a chance and fail. Fall to the wayside for whatever reason. Ive seen disunity and immediate blackballing. Hell, Ive experienced it and RELISHED it. Its brought forth attention from some unlikely places and even more unlikely allies. Ive heard praise dropped upon those who were undeserving and Ive seen someone get some attention that he TRULY deserved. Ive seen crybabies and girly-men alike almost break into tears when the very mention of anything that has been on my mind comes forth and though its been fun, its been very annoying. If I could see anything, I would love to see more unity in the Dallas music scene, but I doubt that will ever happen. I cant say that I wish the best for everybody.....honestly there are a handful of cats who: (imitating Rick James ala Dave Chappelle

"I hope everything bad happens to you, just you and only you. May only bad come your way. Say hello to Dahk-ness. And in closing, they shouldna never gave you n*gg*s and most of you crackas money. Good day and n*gg* f*ck yo' couch."

It is what it is. If you know me, get at me. If you dont know me and Ive sparked your interests somehow, get at me. Im back at it as blogs go, but Im so done as the sorry excuse for music stands. Im going back to 9-6. Its peaceful there and Biggie is still alive.

Uno,

Jou

I Guess I Should Say Im Sorry........

2007-04-03T20:50:00.000-05:00

......so there I already said it. LOL! Im sorry for keeping everyone who actually reads this thing on hold and if you happened to glance here and see that there is a new post, fear not, ITS ACTUALLY ME! Just wanted to put something up to let everyone know that I havent abandoned the blog or gotten bored with it. Honestly, there has just been a lot of getting right on the business end and also on the personal end and with that out of the way.....Bring on JouLY!!!! I wont say too much more, but I will say this.....if you liked Volume 1, you're going to LOVE Volume 2.

Uno,
Jou

After Waiting For So Long.......

2007-02-10T07:51:00.000-06:00

Everything has been a whirlwind for me, these past few weeks, but I am going to fill you in on everything that has been going on. Since I last wrote......

1)Ive been in contact with the UBN1 and things are going pretty smoothly. Its still in its preliminary stages and thats good because Im at the start things and I can see it building. Not much else to say, except stay tuned.

2)I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Rock The Dub, you can checkout the interview and let me know what you think. CLICK HERE! Khal has always been a good dude, so I have to extend my hand in thanks for him even considering the small movement that I have going important enough to say something about.

3)Above anything else, I HAVE A SHOW TONIGHT!

Unfortunately, Im pressed for time right now, but Im so excited. Expect photos and video the next time, I post and I promise that it wont be so far in between.

Uno,
Jou

I Know Im Late, But.........................

2007-01-16T08:31:00.000-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! If you've been tuning in, you realize that its been about two weeks since I posted. Im so sorry, but things have been really moving in a positive manner for me and Ive been caught in somewhat of a whirlwind of prosperity in the last two weeks. It wont take me very long, but things are really moving for me. So if Im short in the coming weeks, please excuse me, its not out of lack of love, its out of very little time and thats....................A GOOD THING!!!

1) I was interviewed by Pegasus News on January 8, 2007 and it was actually a very good experience for me. I was able to make a connection with Alan Cohen of Pegasus News through DFWHipHop.com and well it just went from there. They are a great team of people and Im looking forward to working with them in the future as a freelance writer. You just cant be mad at that. You can check out my interview with Erin Rice (She rocks!!!!) here: Click Here

2)You are now looking at one of the new faces of the UBN 1. That may not seem like much right now, but please believe me, I wish I could say more to you. Stay tuned.

3)Ive started working on the second entry into my mixtape series, "Sign Joulz Il:Volume 2". The first free downloadable cd did so well that I decided, "Hey, why not do it again?". It should be available for online downloading by April. (And it will be there by April! I mean that! I dont like saying things that I cant keep up on!) Be on the lookout for it! And if you havent picked up "Sign Joulz Il:Volume 1", you can do that here: Sign Joulz Il

4)Five Starr Entertainment FINALLY got the new studio built. LOL! I say that jokingly, but we are all VERY HAPPY to have it done. Way to go Charles and Chelse! Im happy that its up and its running smoothly, no kinks, no crap, and no low budget recording in a closet for US! A professional quality studio with built in hang out extras to boot. Always a good look. Be on the lookout for The Alliance (Dent, John, Joulz Il). We are in the process of completing the group album NOW! Feel free to sample our music here: LISTEN TO US!!!!

5)And even though, this has absolutely nothing to do with anything else.......IM "HA-PAY"!!!! LOL! 2007 has already been a really good look for me and its only been two weeks. Its amazing what God can and will accomplish for you, if you just let go and give it all to Him. To think, I spoke this into existence! Man, I said it before and I will say it again. Give God some of your time and He will definitely bless you.

Until we speak again.

Jou

For Auld Lang Syne......

2006-12-31T17:19:00.000-06:00

Reflecting back on this past year, I stand on this, the final day of 2006 EVER and thank God for allowing me to see his perfection. So many things could have gone so many ways, but God decided that it would behoove me if they didnt. I look forward to the future holding prosperity, divine favor, peace, tranquility, love, and stability. I walk out of 2006, a brand new man, leaving behind the old nuances of my former self and diving wholeheartedly into the man that I have grown into, looking forward to the man that I will become. I started this blog out as a medium solely to talk about music and it has grown into something so much more important than my love for Hip-Hop and my desire to be a REAL recording artist. It has turned into a testimony of good things and bad things, of trials and tribulations, of highs and lows, of wins and losses, of falls and redemption. It has become the documentation for years to come of where I started from. I end 2006 thanking all of those who have read this page for CARING ENOUGH TO KEEP COMING BACK!! LOL!!! There is something fulfilling in knowing that you have written something that other people actually take time out of their busy lives to sit down and care about. This is my reason for doing music. Its not for the constant criticism which helps me grow and understand......Im not always right. Its not for the ignorance that trying to make it in a place where it seems like NO ONE wants to see anyone else succeed. Its not for the adoration that people seem to place on you when they realize that......You can do something that, against popular belief, not EVERYONE can do! Its just because I know that someone, somewhere is reading this and they actually care about the dreams and ambitions of a guy that they've never met before. A bunch of words thrown together randomly on a screen that represent some guy somewhere named Joulz Il. A monologue of triumph, failure, and redemption that is chronicled simply because.........Somebody thought that it would be a good idea. I run on into 2007 with my face against the wind and the storm of my life subsiding. I run on into 2007 with God as my ring manager and trainer, ready to face whatever adversary stands across the ring from me. Ready to overcome whatever obstacle is placed in my way, be it personal demons, industry woes, or just all around stupidity, I stand ready. Are you changing yourself for 2007? Are you reinventing yourself for the new year or are you just getting better from last year's edition? I, personally feel like, Im an upgrade from the original. I was told that I could have been better than what I am now.....I find that funny and true at the same time. Thats why I focus on getting better everyday. For Auld Lang Syne. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to give "The Herc" to fallen friends. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to have a crew the size of the Wu-Tang again. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to split a "Juice Jun-gal" and a Fudge Round and walk down the street like the rest of the world doesnt exist and can easily be taken over. For Old Time's Sake. Humph, alas, those days have ended long ago. Homeboys have grown into men and swords that were once shiny, new, and raised in vows of brotherhood have been tarnished by misunderstanding, maturity, stubbornness, and just all around growth apart. I have learned in 25 years of life, that you cannot live in the past because you will never look toward the future or live your present. Goodbye 2006, with your long labored phone calls and repetitive arguments. Goodbye 2006, with your realizations that some things will never change and you just have to let them be. Goodbye 2006, with your need for more than just that highly individualized ONE. Goodbye 2006, with your gavels and bars and pumpkin colored jumpsuits. Goodbye 2006, you were good, you were bad, but you served your purpose. You forged A YOUNG MAN into A MAN and put him on the road to being THE MAN that he was destined to be. 365 days of life altering, decision changing, epitome-shaping, mindframe re-wiring, happenstances that could never really be summarized in this little box. I pray that I can look back on you, 2006, and laugh at the end of 2007, knowing what God was doing all along. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!!!

The Culmination of Hard Work. The Beginning of Something Great

The mixtape is done and has been doing very well. I am overwhelmed at the amount of people who have come to download it and moreover, the large showing of support which ironically, hasnt really been from Dallas. Man! I look forward to everyone in the area that Im from, really listening objectively to what I have to say and making their decisions on what I have to offer. 2007 is definitely shaping up to be quite exciting! As my friend, Jest E would say (mimicking The Matrix), "These are EXCITING TIMES!" I wish everyone a prosperous and divinely favored NEW YEAR!!!!!

The Funniest Thing Happened (Part 2)

2006-12-28T03:46:00.000-06:00

LOL! So I get online at about 5 pm yesterday to continue promoting my mixtape and happen to see that my posts from DFW HipHop had been slightly ALTERED! The guy who was the cause for all the idiocy contacted the board and had them REMOVE his comments. Where Im from..........We call that gay! Which is ironic because, he, is SUPPOSEDLY, from the same area. I have a different degree of what a man is supposed to act like. A man is supposed to stick by his decisions....even if they arent advantageous. A man should never, by any means, retract a statement that was made publicly and then go take shots alone in the dark, in private. Why spend so much time goading a "public" happening, get to it, lose, and then try to erase it like it never happened? A man is supposed to be able to admit that what he just did may have been pointless and access his reasons for living. Well, a man is, but this guy has shown me something that I never wanted to believe about him.......HE IS LESS THAN A MAN! I wouldnt speak another man's name unless I had his number. Unless I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was sure that what I wanted from him was his utmost attention to my words, to my demeanor, to my character. All a man, has is his word and if your word is made to disappear after you speak it, then honestly, WHAT TYPE OF MAN ARE YOU? What type of man cries for 12 years and complains about everything that has ever happened to him? What type of man creates a "glass" world and doesnt believe that at some point, someone is going to come along and throw a very real boulder at it? At every point in any MAN'S life trouble comes.....deal with it! I did! It made me stronger, but every alleged man isnt built for wear. Some men arent built to carry anything and I was built to deal with what God saw fit to allow me to deal with. My trials and tribulations are a testimony to the power of God and my intelligence is a testimony to his divine blessings. Neither of these are to be taken lightly or shunned away. Once you grow into a man, certain childhood things are put away. Alleged so-called beef is looked upon with disdain. Sure, Im not perfect, Ive made my comments and even had my share of songs made out of stupidity, but Ive grown up. It is in that maturity that I know how to restrain myself from ignorance and honestly, ignorance made itself very noticeable the other day.

"Pride cometh before a fall." -GOD

I dont really know what else there is to say. I have laid my swords down a long time ago and vowed that I had no reason to pick up the seeds of anger, malice, violence, and rage. I was told that vengeance did not belong to me, so vengeance, I do not seek. However, as a MAN, there is only so much growth that can be displayed in the face of desperation. This is pure desperation. What I experienced the other day and also on today was a taste of what someone who is desperate to be relevant will do. I carry zero fear of man when God has promised me his divine protection. I have overlooked plenty of things, but to quote TI, "I dont know what you do for respect, but Im gon die for mine." My family is not something that I take kindly to being disrespected. If it were ever a case in which I felt my life were threatened, please believe me, Hip Hop is the last thing in which I am going to be thinking about. I think that people forget physical attributes when it comes down to getting into a microphone booth, closet, bathroom, or wherever, we as emcees record. Emcees have been brainwashed to believe that if you speak something into existence enough, it becomes true. Not so, unless it comes with the knowledge of self and the power of God behind it. At the end of the day, screw Joulz Il, Im Julian DeShaun Sneed, FIRST! I have responsibility to my bloodline to continue to exist and not be pulled into something that isnt really worth it. And honestly, whatever this guy is trying to pull has NEVER been worth it. Its all fun until someone is on the concrete bleeding and someone else is in the back of a squad car. I dont even like the idea of bringing that prophetic word into the situation, but my first responsibility is to my God, my second is to my family. Anything after that, is null and void. No need for idle threats, back and forth banter, and false accusations. This blog is read by all, those who show love to and those who hold disdain and repulsion for me, so my statement is out there. I have zero problem protecting myself and my own against desperation. Desperation reeks the air with cowardice and maliciousness and I refuse to be the focus of anyone's hatred, jealousy, and/or fear.

The funniest thing happened when I read DFW HipHop.........I finally saw what a male vagina looks like and truthfully, it wasnt a pretty sight.

The Funniest Thing Happened........

2006-12-26T19:42:00.000-06:00

........while promoting my mixtape, "Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1. Thats right, its through and ready for FREE DOWNLOAD NOW! Feel free to check it out: Sign Joulz Il Myspace Page

Anyway, as I was saying, I got on DFW HipHop to promote my new mixtape and this guy, Smudgey, decides to plague my post with non sense. Dont believe me.....CHECK IT OUT!

This is me:

Joulz Il
Today, 04:59 PM
Post #1
skr8 n00bGroup: MembersPosts: 2Joined: 20-December 06Member No.: 2454
And now time for a small commercial break..... Sign Joulz Il Official WebpageHi, Im Joulz Il. As you may know from previous NasirJones interviews....HIP HOP IS DEAD! SO ARE ROCK&ROLL AND R&B! While I cant do anything about rock and R&B,I can probably help get a start on resurrecting whatgood old fashioned lyricists call HIP HOP. Are youtired of rappers writing SLOW, SENSUOUS LOVE BALLADS(yes, BALLADS!) to OTHER GUYS? Are you sick of whinersCRYING about who messed them over? Fed up withARTHRITIC (yes, ARTHRITIC) and ASTHMATIC emceesmimicking tough guys over lackluster beats? Well lookand listen in disgust no more! Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1is AVAILABLE NOW! FREE! 100% DOWNLOADABLE! You wantsoulful introspection? CHECK! You want pugilisticwordplay? CHECK! You want that guy that sounds likeyour little cousin Ray-ray with a mouthful of chickenrapping in PRO-TOOLS? KEEP IT MOVING! 15 TRACKS OF NO FRILLS,NO NONSENSE HIP HOP! AND ITS ALL FREE! GO COPTHAT! NOW! The Mixtape is downloadable here:Sign Joulz Il Official WebpageAdd yourself as a friend to the new page for Joulz Il. The old page will be gone SOON! Dont get left behind! THE MOVEMENT STARTS NOW!!!!Sign Joulz Il Official Webpage--------------------
Joulz Il

This is him:

emortul spitter
Today, 06:00 PM

Man get tha f*ck outta here with the dissing bullshit - just promote your damn project. Ok people he's talking about me LaJohn Manoy aka Smooth D. aka Emortul Spitter subliminally - so what, I'm talking about this nigga directly:(http://www.myspace.com/emortulzsmoothd) - listen to FU(Jou). Def Jam didn't want you - get over it. SOMEBODY SIGN THIS NIGGA ALREADY so he can move on and stop focusing on me and trying to spread lies or prove he's a better writer/rapper/whatever, stop hating on Big Tuck cuz we all use to be down with each other and now Tuck made it and don't fuck with you, and stop hating the city of Dallas cause they aint supporting you. You talk about people's music, what about the horrible mixing and no mastering of your shit - hell the tracks that are tight have a negative response because of how they sound, some-what ok beats (when you're on original beats), find your own rhyme style and vocal tone - one minute you're a jamaican Jay-Z then a Houston-Sounding Eminem, I'm glad you have a vast vocabulary (that u keep borrowing from the dictionary when you're writing cuz u didn't already know those words) - people don't even know what tha fuck you talking bout and most of all Joulz Il Duce the name - you're right there can only be one.2007 is going to see alot of you're hating nature towards me and I'm so ready for it because you can't seem to beat me no matter what you say or what you do. My success will come from my hard-work, making good music, handling my own business and not letting you stop what I do or what I say or how I feel about anything. You do nothing but make it easier for me to move forward because I'm steady looking back at what you've become versus what you could have been. I'm sorry Jou if you're life is so empty that I have to be your main target for you to progress.If you want to dead this shit, fight (oh wait you still on probabtion for child endangerment or is it the traffic tickets Mr. Gangsta), apologize or whatever:

(Sidenote: It was at this point in the posting that he decided to place his contact info. Seriously.)

I'm sure I'll see you in 2007 seeing as you plan to move in all the places I move in (like on this board which you only visited for like 2 weeks as The Watcher to argue with me under a fake name). Let's see who wins and who loses. That is all.

Completely trying to understand his motives, I decided to respond back.

This is ME:

Joulz Il
Today, 07:40 PM
Post #3
skr8 n00bGroup: MembersPosts: 2Joined: 20-December 06Member No.: 2454

*"Man get tha fuck outta here with the dissing bullshit - just promote your damn project. Ok people he's talking about me LaJohn Manoy aka Smooth D. aka Emortul Spitter subliminally - so what, I'm talking about this nigga directly:"

WOW!!! Where did this feeling come from? Is this because I made references to someone making SLOW, SENSUOUS LOVE BALLADS (yes, BALLADS!) to OTHER GUYS? Is this something that you have done, perhaps? I never mentioned anyone's NAME! Im sorry if that pulled a heart string for you. The last I checked, no one knows YOU! And why would I consider an artist who hasnt made it, such as myself, a threat?

*"(http://www.myspace.com/emortulzsmoothd) - listen to FU(Jou)."

LOL!!!!!! You seem to be a bit of the "angry" at someone who doesnt affect you, but thats just my take on it. However, thanks for the PROMOTION!!!! Sign Joulz Il Official Myspace Page

*"Def Jam didn't want you - get over it. SOMEBODY SIGN THIS NIGGA ALREADY so he can move on and stop focusing on me and trying to spread lies or prove he's a better writer/rapper/whatever, stop hating on Big Tuck cuz we all use to be down with each other and now Tuck made it and don't fuck with you, and stop hating the city of Dallas cause they aint supporting you. "

As far as my not signing to Def Jam, that just hasnt been negotiated YET. Wow, I didnt think that was common knowledge. How did you find out that I was in talks with Def Jam? Did Brian Postelle from Virgin tell you that? Dont know who that is? (I figured that you wouldn't.) Concerning Big Tuck, I spoke to him about two weeks ago. He doesnt seem to think that I am hating on him, why would you? And as far as my love for Dallas......CHECK OUT THE MIXTAPE, PEOPLE! TRACK #2!*

"You talk about people's music, what about the horrible mixing and no mastering of your shit - hell the tracks that are tight have a negative response because of how they sound"

Are you referring to the last tracks that you heard from me, possibly on DP over a year and a half ago? Material in which the public was told that they were UNMIXED and UNMASTERED PREVIEW TRACKS? Hmm, I guess one listen to "FU Jou" (Hi-yah!!!! Im sorry, I couldnt resist! It reminds me of an whack old kung fu flick with Jim Kelly! LOL! You suck! FU Jou, getdafuggouttahere!) would have people to believe that your mixing and mastering skills are the best that Dallas has to offer! Maybe, thats why you have to post your lyrics on everything that you do, but I digress. (Digress- it means to back away from the subject and I didnt get that from the dictionary. YAY!)

*"some-what ok beats (when you're on original beats)"

Hmm, lets see why should I waste my time doing all original beats when honestly......NO ONE CARES!!!! (Wait....thats what YOU do, isnt it? Oooh.....that has to hurt.) I might as well just get the music that is readily available and known and save a lot more money and time, but that shouldnt stop you from working SO HARD on your platinum sound!

*"find your own rhyme style and vocal tone - one minute you're a jamaican Jay-Z then a Houston-Sounding Eminem"

Jay-Z? Eminem? Gee, THANKS! Man, this tops the time that you told Entity from 5 Starr Entertainment that I was supremely talented!

*"I'm glad you have a vast vocabulary (that u keep borrowing from the dictionary when you're writing cuz u didn't already know those words)

Just because I dont feel the need to place typos on everything that I write or I choose to speak with a diction that promotes proper English usuage, does NOT mean that I am using a dictionary. Unlike you, I chose to expand my vocabulary after I left the sixth grade.

*"people don't even know what tha fuck you talking bout and most of all Joulz Il Duce the name - you're right there can only be one."

Self explanatory. Just read the quote. What did you just say to me? My name, quite simply, is Joulz Il.

*"2007 is going to see alot of you're hating nature towards me and I'm so ready for it because you can't seem to beat me no matter what you say or what you do."

Dude, seriously, why would I hate YOU? Who are YOU? No one knows YOU. No one cares about YOU. No one takes YOU seriously. Beat YOU? (LOL!)

*"My success will come from my hard-work, making good music, handling my own business and not letting you stop what I do or what I say or how I feel about anything."

Good for YOU! Im glad to see that you have some type of self esteem....LEFT.

*"You do nothing but make it easier for me to move forward because I'm steady looking back at what you've become versus what you could have been."Really you think about me THAT MUCH?!

*"I'm sorry Jou if you're life is so empty that I have to be your main target for you to progress."

Wow! Again, who are YOU?

*"If you want to dead this sh*t, fight (oh wait you still on probabtion for child endangerment or is it the traffic tickets Mr. Gangsta), apologize or whatever:"

Fight?! Why would I fight YOU? I dont make it a point to beat up on the elderly. (How are those legs? You able to get around now?) On top of that, I dont actually have the TIME, I have real meetings to attend now. (I barely had the time to write this, but its the holidays, why not?) And as far as my background, AGAIN, how do you know so much personal info (albeit bits and pieces) about me? It seems a bit stalker-like.

*"I'm sure I'll see you in 2007 seeing as you plan to move in all the places I move in (like on this board which you only visited for like 2 weeks as The Watcher to argue with me under a fake name)."

Yes, Im pretty sure that in my networking, we will end up at some of the same places. (Dallas is not THAT BIG.) And as far DFWHipHop, since when was anyone from the Dallas music scene NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE? That seems like a bit of an elitist attitude. You're really full of yourself, arent you? Please, control your emotions! A screen name is just that a pseudonym. (Hopefully I didnt confuse you with that last one.)

*"Let's see who wins and who loses."

Wins or loses what?

Anyway people, check out my new mixtape "Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1", so that someone can do what emortul spitter says.....SIGN JOULZ IL !!!!!!! (Im pretty sure that he's going to go download it right now....YOU SHOULD TOO! LOL!!!)--------------------
Joulz Il

I just found it funny that someone would go through that much trouble behind someone who honestly hasnt done anything to them. Moreover behind someone who honestly could care less about what they do. (Funny. Notice the picture.) Its a trip to see that there are people out there who become obsessed with what you do. So much so that they feel the need to try to downplay your growth and your progression. I just want to make music. Thats all. Good music. Fun music. Music that wont get a nigger shot. I dont talk tough or glamorize anything that I have been through that I feel is negative nor do I make that the focus of my music. Again, responsibility. Normally, a guy would get on his blog and rant and rave about what he was going to do to the other guy, but honestly, why waste time? Im very sad. Sad that someone has to stoop to this level of immaturity just to get attention for something that should be attention grabbing within itself. Anyway, thats my two cents. Im just trying to make it. Just trying to do what I can to live a lifelong dream and NO ONE...........NO ONE EXCEPT FOR GOD HIMSELF can dictate to me if that is going to happen or not. I refuse to play into idiocy just to make someone feel justified for their actions. To the gentleman that I mentioned above, all I have to say is........

"Grow up. You're still living in a high school world in which the things that you do are important. Please stop being full of yourself. Its a long fall back to humility and I wouldnt wish that fall on my worst enemy. I dont take kindly to being called out or goaded on to see if you can get some type of response of me in anger. Its just not my thing. I spent enough of my life in an angry, rage-filled ball and it seems like that is what you are doing right now. I pray that you find help, find a purpose, find a clue, and above all, find a higher power that can guide you and help you with the anger issues that you have and all the pent up rage that you seem to direct towards ME."

I choose normally not to address such stupidity, but I couldnt help, but to laugh at the manner in which I was approached after everything. Anyway, I will keep you all posted on what happens with the mixtape. Thanks for reading.

Perfection?

2006-12-11T05:19:00.000-06:00

Im not sure what defines sexy anymore, or if I ever really knew. Everyone has their own definition. Last night I had a conversation with my wife and we talked about our past relationships. Its crazy, the guy that came right before me was a total and complete LAME. I mean, according to her, there was nothing about him that she remotely liked and he was never her number one choice in ANYTHING! Ironically, neither was the girl who tried to be with me right before I met her. You never want to place yourself in a situation where someone is not your all. I remember telling my ex countless amounts of times "Im just not physically attracted to you, BUT our relationship doesnt revolve around the physical." This was my futile attempt at not being shallow. It came to my attention, after my wife stopped LAUGHING, that I may have crushed my ex's spirit and self esteem by saying that. Her comment, "No woman wants to EVER hear that you arent physically attracted to them. She probably went back through all of her old relationships to see if they thought the same way you did and now, every relationship that she gets in, she's going to question him, too. Burn!" It wasnt meant to be funny, but my ex wasnt exactly a 10 and it seems that everytime I speak about her, its never in a positive light. Isnt that strange? You're with someone for just about 2 years of your life and you NEVER have found them the least bit attractive. Honestly, my wife and I go absolutely nuts over one another. I mean crazy. Sometimes, so much that it seems unreal. This leads me to think, are other couples as equally excited about one another or are they just going through the motions? Honestly, with the disrespect for marriage that people seem to have today, its a wonder that anyone is truly happily married anymore. Everyone seems to believe that marriage is some crappy commitment that can be easily thrown off for a little "outside intervention." Thats garbage. I personally think that everyone needs someone and that there is someone that is meant for everyone. Honestly, our exes would be perfect for one another. LOL!

The mixtape is still being mixed and it still sounds great. I finally came up with a suitable name, but you have to keep some surprises, so I guess you all will have to wait and see what it is, now won't you? LOL! December is still the month! Im asking that if you read this, take the time to pray. Pray about anything, but just acknowledge God's existence. Im focusing this week on bettering my prosperity in life. Financially, mentally, spiritually, familywise, physically, basically everything. Find your focus and give God some of your time.

"........even sinners got souls." -Shug Avery-The Color Purple

Am I Alone Or........

2006-12-06T03:32:00.000-06:00

do more young women seem to have less and less respect for themselves these days? To promote online, I have a slew of pages that I normally go to and post up different pics, links, quotes, and what have you and most of the time, I still get personal requests to talk, chat, say hi, etc. The funny thing is that most of these young women seem to have zero respect for themselves or anything for that matter. I know you're reading this like......"Jou, what in the world does this have to do with music?" Let me explain myself. I spent a lot of time in my musical training era of being with different "labels" and "camps", and most of the time, I would write true recollections of my real life misogyny, hedonism, and debauchery and I would never care about who it would affect or how it would look. As a man, you have to put down the toys of your youth. The devices of ignorance that you carried around as the representation of what type of man you were. No one REALLY wants to be labeled a whoremonger, do they? Well, I didnt, so I felt the need to rearrange and redirect my lyrics and my purpose when it came down to recording. A lot of the young ladies who have sent me messages have been immediately directed to partake in my myspace page, particularly a song entitled "Do You Believe.....". The song is about being in love, finding someone who completes you so much that you actually have zero qualms about expressing this. You would not believe the amount of young women who have never had someone to tell them that they love them and actually SHOW it! Im opening my eyes to realize that as someone who will soon be looked toward for some type of affection in the eyes of some of these young ladies.....I DONT WANT TO BE A BAD INFLUENCE. I dont want to be that artist who is in the tabloids or in Vibe Confidential or even as a blurb on the Wendy Williams Show for being "the never ending manwhore". I would love to be the type of artist that receives good press for being a gentleman, for doing something to actually uplift women, for NOT being known to have groupies running down the hallway naked from room to room. If this makes me a boring artist, so be it. I want to make a stand personally, in my music, to make sure that young women, especially young BLACK women, KNOW FOR CERTAIN that they dont have to be disrespectful of themselves and they dont have to degrade themselves to be loved. Its a sad sight to see a young lady who obviously doesnt know you, offer her services in the art of fellatio to you, in hopes of latching herself on to someone who APPEARS to be on the rise. I pray that this mindframe is the mindframe that God keeps me in. I found out that 50's new album is called "Before I Self Destruct". Man, that's the thought that keeps me walking the straight and the narrow path everyday! That's the thought that makes me discipline myself now BEFORE any type of fame or fortune comes my way. No one wants to self destruct in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the public. Am I alone or does it seem like the more things change, the more they stay the same?

A Purifying Experience

2006-12-05T19:43:00.000-06:00

Winter is always a time in which everything is normally reborn, renewed, or refurbished. Im extremely excited about the mixtape. I had a lot of fun recording it, which is something that normally wouldnt happen for me. If you've been reading, then you know about everything that has transpired in my life and honestly, the mixtape was therapeutic for me. I got a lot of anxiety out of the way and I felt really good about doing it. I was able to make a recording that I personally feel was well rounded. It got me back to the way that I have always loved doing music....EXPRESSIVELY. Being able to record is something that always should be done with a love, a passion, a real message and a desire to talk about something other than locality. I have always despised being pigeon-holed, so I took steps to at least try to do something outside of the normal on the new mixtape and I am so excited. The working title most likely isnt going to be the title that I go with after all, but things change, so you cant be stuck on the little things and ideas are made to be knocked down and re-hashed. I have been on notice that I am becoming a different artist, a better artist, and a consummate professional when it comes down to recording and just trying to build a career in music period. Its amazing the amount of people that I have come in contact with in such a small time that are truly WAITING and PRAYING for something to happen for me. It brings a smile to my face and I pray that I dont disappoint them in my actions. Life itself, can be an eye opening experience. If someone would have told me at 15, that this would be it for me, I would have laughed at them and kept right on moving. Still, at 25, I have accepted that life isnt perfect and that as a human, I am entitled to make mistakes. Some of those mistakes have been costly and have affected a vast amount of people, but that's why there is always redemption. Some people have demons that they just cant deal with and that seems strange to me. Some people have skeletons that chase them all around the room and never let them sleep. Me? Well, I sleep easier at night now. When you are doing things the right way, you have ZERO reason to fear anything. Be it man or beast, Be it word or sword, Be it war or ill wishes.....IM FOCUSED! I saw the house that Im going to buy the other day and it was just another confirmation that my life has taken a 360 degree turn for the better. Man, if you're reading this and you put yourself in my position, you too would smile. Life is good. Anyway, Im babbling. I got a chance to hear four of the new tracks in post production and I cannot wait to share them with everyone. I think they are fierce, but......what does my opinion matter? No one makes music for themselves. A true artist makes music for the people, the listeners, the masses. Being in front of the public eye is going to truly be a test for me. Fame is going to truly be a blessing for me. Quite frankly, the money wont hurt either. LOL! You have to leave something behind that people can say...."Hey, he/she did that." NO ONE can take that away from you. Here in Dallas, it snowed the other day and it was very enjoyable. I was able to spend time with my loved ones and of course my betrothed and all in all, I had a great day. I realized that there is something that I do now that a lot of people that I know dont do..........I SMILE! And smiling is truly a purifying experience.

Sorry To Sound Religious, But........

2006-11-30T17:43:00.000-06:00

I read my bible avidly. In being gone for a minute, I realized that there are certain things that are needed in ANY life, be it music or just plain old 9 to 5 and one of those is guidance. I wouldnt be where I am today if Christ hadnt stepped in and began to get my attention. A lot of people dont know it, but I am a changed man. I listen to GOD a lot more now and my temper isnt the same as when I was younger. Suffice it to say, a lot of the things that would have sent me into a blind rage when I was 17-21, just dont affect me like they used to. Im looking forward to my music reflecting that change in my life. Before I left, I had a lot of things that I felt the need to address in my music, but they were NEVER really that important. They were things that I just talked about because they were bothersome and trivial and moreover, it was just fun for me. One thing I know about me is that Im good at music. Abnormally good, especially for the area that I come from and honestly, it has bothered me in the past when people confuse my confidence for cockiness or arrogance. I seldom give my attention to negativity, but I can see that there's a storm brewing and Im admittedly, MORE CALM THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN! GOD alone has always been the leader of my life. Even when I didnt try to pay Him any attention, HE, and HE alone has guided me and I take complete solace in that. This morning was no different. In my daily reading, I was led to read Ecclesiastes 4:13-16 which reads:

13. Better a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish KING who will be admonished no more. 14. For he comes out of PRISON to be KING, although he was born POOR IN HIS KINGDOM. 15. I saw all the living who walk under the sun; they were with the second youth who stands in his place. 16. There was no end of all the people over whom he was made KING; yet those who come afterward will not rejoice in him. Surely this also is VANITY and GRASPING FOR THE WIND.

These verses filled my heart with hope, joy, faith, knowledge, and abundant strength. God has truly been providing for me since the trials that He allowed to happen to me and I can do nothing more than be humble and be thankful. So many people are so quick to assume that they know you or have you figured out and God takes care of those people accordingly. Anger is something that I choose not to give in to. Vengeance is something that does not belong to me. I learned that lesson before I made it back to Dallas. There is a level of promise that I honestly dont believe a lot of people who rap,or people period for that matter, believe in. I am being shown in different ways each day that there is some greater calling on my life and that there will be those who cannot accept it. Sorry to sound religious, but "NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!" And I laugh to myself and sleep easy every day about that fact.

The mix tape is coming, PEOPLE! December is upon us! Be prepared! Be happy! Be ready for something extraordinary! Store your food! Lock your wind.........just kidding! Just stay posted!

Uno,
Jou

I Guess I Always Knew.......

2006-11-20T17:18:00.000-06:00

Truthfully, I think Ive always known that I was supposed to be famous and every once in a while, God sends a friendly reminder that His Will is for me to be on a stage and be influential, not only in the community, but to family and friends. One of my best friends since elementary school called me today and told me that he and the rest of my crew from Lincoln High School in Dallas, got the chance to check out my music on my myspace page.http://www.myspace.com/joulzilduce He was so excited about it and it made me feel extremely good to know that there are people who have been rooting for me for so long. God has a sick sense of humor, He's always laughing at you when you are at your lowest point because He knows exactly what is around the corner for you. Things are looking good, the mixtape should be mixed, mastered, and available for free online download in December. Thats right, December. So if you're a loyal reader or just signing on to the show called "When I Get On....", you're in for a treat. The new studio for Five Starr Entertainment is currently being built and honestly, I am antsy to start recording again. I want to hear what the producers have come up with since I have been gone. Im ready to make classics and now that my team is back for the mutual support that I have SO BADLY needed, I feel incredible. I guess I always knew I would be a rock star, the funny thing is, I NEVER KNEW WHEN. Im starting to see that that time is......NOW.

Uno,
Jou

Closer and Closer

2006-11-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

To the loyal who read this.....IM SORRY! Things have been so hectic around here that its pitiful. Ive moved, the studio is being built and Ive finished the mixtape. Hopefully in the next three weeks, it will be available to the public. This wont be very long, I just wanted everyone to know that things are really moving. I have an interview coming up on . and Im so excited. My myspace page has been updated, so please feel free to check it out. Four new tracks there, new pics and new info. I am realizing everyday that I am closer and closer to getting where I need to be. I promise the next post wont be so far away.

Uno,
Jou

Incarcerated/But I made it/Now you about to feel the storm/When I Get On

SIX MINUTES AND JOULZ IL, YOU'RE ON! AH-AH-ON-AH-AH-AH-ON.......

2006-10-27T17:16:00.000-05:00

IM HOME!!!!!!!! Thats right, Im back and business is about to pick up. For those of you who didnt know, your new, unknown, favorite HIP-HOPPER has returned. As my baby so eloquently put it, "D*mn country *ss towns!" I unfortunately had to pay a small debt to society in the form of about a month and a half of incarceration in NACOGDOCHES COUNTY JAIL!!!! Thank GOD that's over with. Now that Im back, let's get things moving.
A lot has changed in the month or so that I have been gone. Idlewild called, I went and didnt like the scenery, so I decided to move to another place. Forget time zone, let's try time period. Whatever happened to real HIP-HOP?! I mean that good 92-96 goodness. When you could bump the Pharcyde and be the coolest person around. When your shirt didnt have to be from the same company as your jeans. When everybody didnt sell drugs and we all were FLAT BROKE AND SUPREMELY TALENTED. When getting a record deal was something to be heralded and you actually had to have, dare I say it: TALENT!!!! (Yeah, the soapbox is dusted off.) I really miss that period of time. I miss when you were actually excited to hear new music on the radio from your favorite artist and you dreamed of the day when you too would be announced on 100.3 Jamz. (Yeah, at 25 I can say that. What's up Khal?) I feel nostalgic and not just for a minute. I miss good music. I was on a local website here in Dallas called www.dallaspeeps.com and decided to listen to the music there. Its the EXACT SAME STUFF from last year at this EXACT SAME TIME, but its BRAND NEW MATERIAL from the EXACT SAME ARTISTS and.............THEY ALL UTTERLY SUCK!!!! No wonder we (DALLAS) have never been given a proper chance within the HipHop community. No one cares to listen to watered down b.s. I could say some names, but let's be civil.
Now that Im home, I feel the need to do something. I feel the need to make great music. Different beats, different rhyme schemes, more indepth wordplay. I feel the need to take music ITSELF (not just for the area Im from, but everywhere) back to the point where its actually listenable. I see the reason why all the older generations have never really cared for OUR music. Its hot garbage! Im only one man, but I want to make a difference. Maybe if someone gets out there and really starts CARING about the QUALITY of the music again, more people will catch. If that has to be me, well so be it. Break out my Kangol, a freshly dipped pair of chocolate brown Wallies, a pair of good baggy blue jeans (preferably passed down by my older brother and already seasoned), a chocolate brown Goose Down Bomber Jacket, my backpack, and braid my dreads down........six minutes, Joulz Il, you're on! Ah-ah-on-ah-ah-ah-on!

IDLEWILD CALLED, AND JOU, THEY WANT YOU TO MOVE BACK.......

2006-08-28T08:54:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I said it. Anyone who knows me knows that I have always had a fascination with blues, "jook joints", rock and roll, acoustic music, pianos, strings, trumpets, and any type of big band music. My mother Esther, my Grandma Cille (RIP), and my grandfather Willard always kept some type of music pumping into my system. I remember the smell of collard greens on the stove and the sound of SOUL 73 KKDA blasting across the kitchen as my grandma Cille requested me to sing for her. Normally it was the same song "Dont worry my toot-toot." I know you remember that song. Every once in awhile a good blues song would come on and my brother and I would sit there and air guitar on the floor, really feeling the music. I knew then, that I wanted to be a rockstar. My mother sat me down to watch "The Color Purple" and the only thing that I pulled away from that was that I wanted to move a crowd like the band moved them at Harpo's. Throughout the years, hip hop has changed so much that I started questioning whether or not, I even wanted to be included. Here's a little secret......I AINT NO CLOSET OR SHOWER SINGER!!!! I said that because I realized after seeing "Idlewild" of all things. My voice was never meant for these little cookie cutter R&B songs that most people have always written for me or felt that I should sing and I was writing.
I normally play around with singing because there is a deep rooted pain when I sing. Everything that I have ever been through flows through me and comes out in a woozy blast of tenor that causes my tears and fears to surface. Therefore, I have always hid or halfway did enough for it to be on beat. Truthfully, Ive been tired of that. Ive held back for so many years in so many situations because I didnt know what everyone would expect from someone with so much pain in their voice. Then, I realized, so many situations have befallen so many people without a voice, that that pain may just BE NEEDED.
So much creativity was shown in the film through a genre that most African-Americans might find offensive. (Amos-N-Andy, shuckin' and jivin', runnin' hooch, backwater jook joints) Still, the core of our music comes from these places. These dens of flesh and alcohol were where our musical history was built. Where REAL hustlers began without really doing any REAL damage to their communities. Sure, homes were broken because of infidelity and the need to live through hedonism at whatever watering hole, but those are the decisions of men. The piano players and guitar strummers who REPORTEDLY through hearsay sold their souls to the devil for the gift of that instrument, hence the devil's music. Ive realized that the art of what hip-hop truly began as has been lost. Maybe people like Andre Benjamin and Antwan Patton have been right all along. Never afraid to do what it is that they felt they should be doing. No record label conformity, no perfectly packaged album with the prerequisite "club banger","joint for the ladies, or "street shit".
Something woke up in me when I left that theater. The need to really push myself beyond my levels of comfort. Out where you're either crazy or too quirky, a fool or a genius, but the line blurs way past that normal "he's a good rapper or he's a great writer." Something went off in me as I watched the former "two dope boys in a cadillac" become icons over their careers and immortalize themselves for doing something that other rappers had yet to do............MAKE A MOVIE WHERE NEITHER ONE OF THEM WAS A THUG OR A GANGSTER OR EXTREMELY HARD. As I stand about to face a very severe event in my life, Id like to know that at the point of my return from this down point, my mind is completely ready, focused, and clear. If you know me personally, then you know exactly what I am about to endure. If you dont, let's just put it this way. In hip-hop, you gain credibility, sometimes before anyone even knows your name, when they can tap into a website and verify that at some point, some time in your life, there's been a picture of you standing in front of documentation of your height, with all of your vitals and government information attached to it. If you can't figure it out, then I will most likely be back before it matters to you. To give you more, look at this post and check the next time that I post here. Look at the TIME that has passed.
Anyway, Idlewild called me and they want me to move back. When I get through handling my business, I do believe that all my bags are packed and I will jump on that flight. Will you be there for the ride?

Uno,
Jou

A DAMN SHAME.....

2006-08-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

Art seems to immediately imitate life. I speak the truth in just about all of my music and I always talk about the reality of relationships and everything else that goes on, but no one ever seems to pay attention. I honestly believe that in a relationship, more times than not, women look forward to something bad happening and then they just cant seem to get past it or get so hung up on it that nothing comes to them in any other way except negative. Enough about that, I just had to vent a little bit and get that off of my chest. For the record, I have someone, anyone who knows me, knows that. Today, well, actually the last two days, have just been really off kilter. Truthfully, its gotten very annoying. Its like stepping on eggshells, not breaking any and then finally breaking one and all HELL breaks loose. Let me see.......as far as music............
I started working on a new mixtape which I had hoped would be finished by this coming Friday. Doesnt look like that is going to happen. STILL NO NEW BEATS FROM ANY OF THE PRODUCERS!!!!! However, I have found out why. If there ever was a time for everything to fall together, now would be that time. One thing that I always hold true is that God is in control, no matter what. Im starting to try to understand what is going on and why God seems to always test me on things for such long periods of time. I have zero patience and I dont have a high tolerance for a lot of stupidity or people just doing things that they know could be done in a different manner or in a better way. Im working on that and Im working on me. The funny thing about having a blog is that you can EMBELLISH! I would, but Im not. Admittedly, Im typing this in a very agitated and confused state. (If I was a drinker, this would probably be the day that a good, good bottle of Grey Goose would find itself into my hands. Alas, I am NOT!)
I guess my focus is that people make mistakes. People do stupid things. People do things out of desperation. People do things out of complete boredom and lack of self sufficient things. I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! I wish to God I was perfect, but then again, arent all musicians troubled in some way. Is creativity not so close to some sort of mental affliction? Hell, look at R. Kelly. Look at Houston. Look at Keke Wyatt. Look at Mariah Carey. Look at Whitney Houston. Look at ODB. (RIP) These people are and were (respectively) all extremely talented people, but they have and had (respectively) their own personal demons that torment and tormented (respectively) them. I am left with the ponderance today of whether or not, I too, am one of those people. The more I try to do right, the more that wrong befalls me. The more that I try to fix, the more that fails. I have given it all to God, so many times that seems like some type of cliche. I am tired of struggling to find an answer to the question. Truthfully, what scares me is that music seems to be my only way out. In my relationship, I have tried to find solace from myself and the life that has befallen me, but it seems that old habits die hard or so is NOW the thought of the person that I am with. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that I can do right IS music. And that, well thats, as the old folks would say, just a damn shame.

STAGNANT!!!!!!

2006-08-16T08:06:00.000-05:00

stagnant (stag'nent) adj 1.NOT FLOWING:still(stagnant water)2.Foul from standing still:stale(stagnant air)3.Not changing or growing:INACTIVE(a stagnant period for sales)

Webster's II New Riverside Dictonary gives this description of the word stagnant. How appropriate is it that the two words in bold describe me to a tee right now. I made one request before all of this was started and that was: I DO NOT WANT TO SIT IDLE AND WAIT FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME. I like my mind flowing, but I dont want to just get in the booth and record anything, just for the sake of recording. I have no problem with writing until my fingers fall off, but when I record, I want that blend to be there. You know, the beats right, the words fit perfectly, it only takes about a good 15-25 minutes for the vocals to get recorded. I am unhappy to announce that after two weeks of starting work on the project, I still only have six songs recorded for the album and only two that I feel have a shot of making it close to the finals. Im so hungry right now for new music. There's always the throw away mixtape, but its not the same as having your own original music that represents you. Music that is tailormade for the world to hear your sound. Its like Im going stir crazy waiting on producers to submit tracks. Now all things arent bad, I got a really good one last night from Entity which I am absolutely loving. 100% all the way through. It was perfect and it had that sound that I search for. I was truly impressed and the good part about it is.......I KNOW THAT'S NOT THE BEST THAT SHE CAN COME WITH!! These are still "exciting times" nonetheless.

Uno,
Jou

AND BEHOLD FROM THE EAST......

2006-08-13T07:52:00.000-05:00

Its funny that I would name a post that, but thats just what happened. There may be a new producer from Louisiana on the project! His name is simply "K" and much like the Man in Black character that he took his name from, he's definitely good at what he does. I enjoyed listening to his beats yesterday and I am now looking forward to working more with him and the other producers that were already enlisted to make sure that this album sounds great. It was enjoyable listening to someone who had some of the same ideas that I have towards music and truthfully, when someone's music sounds good, you cant take that away from them. The funny thing is, this cat is even interested in doing reggaetone and I have yet to hear that from any producer that I have worked with. I am happy to welcome him to the fold and see what can be created.
On that same note, I still have yet to receive any NEW material. This is the point in recording an album in which I dont like. The stagnation. (Im not even sure if thats a real word, but it is today.) I like to keep things moving and I realized that any good artist does. I got the chance to actually sit down and watch "Tupac:Resurrection" yesterday. Unbeknowst to a lot of people, Im probably the only non-diehard Tupac fan there is. I mean, he was good, but just because someone is murdered in their prime, does not the king create. We will never know where Tupac would have gone had he not been murdered. In watching the doc, it was very apparent that Tupac was misunderstood and that he was CLEARLY ahead of his time. There was more for him than just hip-hop martyr. I, too, have a fascination with my own death. If God blesses me to see it, Wednesday, August 30, 2006, I will be 25 years old. (You read it here first, before some quirky behind record label fabricates a story that Im only 20 years old. 1981, you do the math.) I have never seen myself making it past 23, so to me, Im on borrowed time. Some of the things that Tupac mentioned in the documentary hit home. Im terrified to die. There is a huge part of me that yearns and needs to exist on a plane where people are there to interact with. I dont want to fade into non existence. I dont want to become only a memory or a bunch of pictures, but in the end, we all have to go.
With that said, maybe Im diving too deep into my psyche, but hell thats why its MY blog. I pray that if 25 is all that I am promised, I touch someone deeply with my music and my mindframe. I pray that someone hears something that I have said in an interview or a song or reads a publication or this blog and walks away with a lesson learned. Its important to me that I make an impact in someone's life. Being a rockstar is so much more than just a studio, a video and a stage. Its a way of thinking responsibly and making sure that your actions affect everyone else in a positive manner. You can quote me.

Uno,
Jou

THE IT FACTOR

2006-08-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

One thing about music that is very necessary is of course, the producer. Even still, a producer shouldnt jump beside themself and begin to do things that are prima donna like. This may come as a surprise to some, but I have always believed that as an artist, when dealing with various producers, in certain situations, its like dealing with a rival artist. Some producers believe that without them, you would be nothing more than just a voice. I beg to differ. I happen to know how to produce my own music and admittedly, am fairly decent in doing so. It has never been much to me to sit down in front of any computer program or piece of production equipment and create a listenable composition. Ive always done it myself, so when it came time to really allow myself to be a true artist and work with people outside of my comfort zone, I was a little skeptical. It seems now that my apprehensions were correct.
I sat down with the producers for the new album about two weeks ago and we mapped out everything that was initially going to happen. Everyone seemed to be on one accord. One of the reasons that I bring this up is that I have never HEARD of an artist meeting with all of his producers at the same time. It just seemed kind of absurd, but I was game to do anything that would bring a cohesiveness to the project. As the meeting went on, it became clear that one of the producers, in my opinion, had a serious problem with my opinions towards the Dallas music scene and various other things. It was very evident in the way that he addressed me during the entire meeting. Me being me, I was ready to kick him off of the project from that point, but I felt that musically, he would still have something to bring to the table and the label wanted him as a PRODUCER. As an artist, I dont ever want to shoot myself in the foot or stifle growth and movement, so I remained calm. Im not one for holding my tongue, so I am happy that I was able to convey my feelings on certain aspects of his thoughts without immediately reverting to my normal South Dallas mentality. "Screw you and what you stand for, the door is to your left. Go through it, never look back, and may God have mercy on your soul." What can I say Im from the hood? We dont play that sh*t!
Yesterday it came to my attention that the SAME EXACT PRODUCER that had all of these "CONCERNS" at the meeting, now had concerns about how he was going to get paid. This, to the best of my knowledge, had already been addressed between said PRODUCER and my label. Now there is a reason why this bothered me, Im not just complaining about this guy. In the time between the meeting and me writing this, HE HASNT PRODUCED ANYTHING!!!! Hence my problem. Producer=produce music. Im not sure how this is going to work out, but I will definitely keep you posted.

FIRST THINGS FIRST.........

2006-08-09T19:25:00.000-05:00

The sweet, tender introduction is out of the way. In the words of Dave Chappelle, "WELCOME TO OAKLAND, B****!!!!!" Just kidding. There are going to be some things that I am going to say that might offend some people, quite frankly, let me apologize now. My views are quite different than that of the average artist from Dallas. Some may agree and some may not, but we are all entitled to opinions. Having said that.........I STARTED WORKING ON THE NEW ALBUM THIS PAST WEEKEND!!! So far, I have 8 tracks recorded and am currently WAITING ON MY PRODUCTION TEAM (Ahem!) to get more music to me, so that I can get back into the booth and do what it is that I love to do. Currently the album is entitled "When I Get On....", hence the name of the blog. Its just a working title and it may end up changing, but this is what it will be called until further notice. Im very excited right now and I cant really contain it. There isnt much else to say without the feeling of needless rambling, so Im going to close out for the moment and get back to this when something more exciting happens.

Uno,
Jou