For Auld Lang Syne......

Reflecting back on this past year, I stand on this, the final day of 2006 EVER and thank God for allowing me to see his perfection. So many things could have gone so many ways, but God decided that it would behoove me if they didnt. I look forward to the future holding prosperity, divine favor, peace, tranquility, love, and stability. I walk out of 2006, a brand new man, leaving behind the old nuances of my former self and diving wholeheartedly into the man that I have grown into, looking forward to the man that I will become. I started this blog out as a medium solely to talk about music and it has grown into something so much more important than my love for Hip-Hop and my desire to be a REAL recording artist. It has turned into a testimony of good things and bad things, of trials and tribulations, of highs and lows, of wins and losses, of falls and redemption. It has become the documentation for years to come of where I started from. I end 2006 thanking all of those who have read this page for CARING ENOUGH TO KEEP COMING BACK!! LOL!!! There is something fulfilling in knowing that you have written something that other people actually take time out of their busy lives to sit down and care about. This is my reason for doing music. Its not for the constant criticism which helps me grow and understand......Im not always right. Its not for the ignorance that trying to make it in a place where it seems like NO ONE wants to see anyone else succeed. Its not for the adoration that people seem to place on you when they realize that......You can do something that, against popular belief, not EVERYONE can do! Its just because I know that someone, somewhere is reading this and they actually care about the dreams and ambitions of a guy that they've never met before. A bunch of words thrown together randomly on a screen that represent some guy somewhere named Joulz Il. A monologue of triumph, failure, and redemption that is chronicled simply because.........Somebody thought that it would be a good idea. I run on into 2007 with my face against the wind and the storm of my life subsiding. I run on into 2007 with God as my ring manager and trainer, ready to face whatever adversary stands across the ring from me. Ready to overcome whatever obstacle is placed in my way, be it personal demons, industry woes, or just all around stupidity, I stand ready. Are you changing yourself for 2007? Are you reinventing yourself for the new year or are you just getting better from last year's edition? I, personally feel like, Im an upgrade from the original. I was told that I could have been better than what I am now.....I find that funny and true at the same time. Thats why I focus on getting better everyday. For Auld Lang Syne. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to give "The Herc" to fallen friends. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to have a crew the size of the Wu-Tang again. For Old Time's Sake, Id like to split a "Juice Jun-gal" and a Fudge Round and walk down the street like the rest of the world doesnt exist and can easily be taken over. For Old Time's Sake. Humph, alas, those days have ended long ago. Homeboys have grown into men and swords that were once shiny, new, and raised in vows of brotherhood have been tarnished by misunderstanding, maturity, stubbornness, and just all around growth apart. I have learned in 25 years of life, that you cannot live in the past because you will never look toward the future or live your present. Goodbye 2006, with your long labored phone calls and repetitive arguments. Goodbye 2006, with your realizations that some things will never change and you just have to let them be. Goodbye 2006, with your need for more than just that highly individualized ONE. Goodbye 2006, with your gavels and bars and pumpkin colored jumpsuits. Goodbye 2006, you were good, you were bad, but you served your purpose. You forged A YOUNG MAN into A MAN and put him on the road to being THE MAN that he was destined to be. 365 days of life altering, decision changing, epitome-shaping, mindframe re-wiring, happenstances that could never really be summarized in this little box. I pray that I can look back on you, 2006, and laugh at the end of 2007, knowing what God was doing all along. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!!!

The Culmination of Hard Work. The Beginning of Something Great

The mixtape is done and has been doing very well. I am overwhelmed at the amount of people who have come to download it and moreover, the large showing of support which ironically, hasnt really been from Dallas. Man! I look forward to everyone in the area that Im from, really listening objectively to what I have to say and making their decisions on what I have to offer. 2007 is definitely shaping up to be quite exciting! As my friend, Jest E would say (mimicking The Matrix), "These are EXCITING TIMES!" I wish everyone a prosperous and divinely favored NEW YEAR!!!!!

The Funniest Thing Happened (Part 2)

LOL! So I get online at about 5 pm yesterday to continue promoting my mixtape and happen to see that my posts from DFW HipHop had been slightly ALTERED! The guy who was the cause for all the idiocy contacted the board and had them REMOVE his comments. Where Im from..........We call that gay! Which is ironic because, he, is SUPPOSEDLY, from the same area. I have a different degree of what a man is supposed to act like. A man is supposed to stick by his decisions....even if they arent advantageous. A man should never, by any means, retract a statement that was made publicly and then go take shots alone in the dark, in private. Why spend so much time goading a "public" happening, get to it, lose, and then try to erase it like it never happened? A man is supposed to be able to admit that what he just did may have been pointless and access his reasons for living. Well, a man is, but this guy has shown me something that I never wanted to believe about him.......HE IS LESS THAN A MAN! I wouldnt speak another man's name unless I had his number. Unless I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was sure that what I wanted from him was his utmost attention to my words, to my demeanor, to my character. All a man, has is his word and if your word is made to disappear after you speak it, then honestly, WHAT TYPE OF MAN ARE YOU? What type of man cries for 12 years and complains about everything that has ever happened to him? What type of man creates a "glass" world and doesnt believe that at some point, someone is going to come along and throw a very real boulder at it? At every point in any MAN'S life trouble comes.....deal with it! I did! It made me stronger, but every alleged man isnt built for wear. Some men arent built to carry anything and I was built to deal with what God saw fit to allow me to deal with. My trials and tribulations are a testimony to the power of God and my intelligence is a testimony to his divine blessings. Neither of these are to be taken lightly or shunned away. Once you grow into a man, certain childhood things are put away. Alleged so-called beef is looked upon with disdain. Sure, Im not perfect, Ive made my comments and even had my share of songs made out of stupidity, but Ive grown up. It is in that maturity that I know how to restrain myself from ignorance and honestly, ignorance made itself very noticeable the other day.

"Pride cometh before a fall." -GOD

I dont really know what else there is to say. I have laid my swords down a long time ago and vowed that I had no reason to pick up the seeds of anger, malice, violence, and rage. I was told that vengeance did not belong to me, so vengeance, I do not seek. However, as a MAN, there is only so much growth that can be displayed in the face of desperation. This is pure desperation. What I experienced the other day and also on today was a taste of what someone who is desperate to be relevant will do. I carry zero fear of man when God has promised me his divine protection. I have overlooked plenty of things, but to quote TI, "I dont know what you do for respect, but Im gon die for mine." My family is not something that I take kindly to being disrespected. If it were ever a case in which I felt my life were threatened, please believe me, Hip Hop is the last thing in which I am going to be thinking about. I think that people forget physical attributes when it comes down to getting into a microphone booth, closet, bathroom, or wherever, we as emcees record. Emcees have been brainwashed to believe that if you speak something into existence enough, it becomes true. Not so, unless it comes with the knowledge of self and the power of God behind it. At the end of the day, screw Joulz Il, Im Julian DeShaun Sneed, FIRST! I have responsibility to my bloodline to continue to exist and not be pulled into something that isnt really worth it. And honestly, whatever this guy is trying to pull has NEVER been worth it. Its all fun until someone is on the concrete bleeding and someone else is in the back of a squad car. I dont even like the idea of bringing that prophetic word into the situation, but my first responsibility is to my God, my second is to my family. Anything after that, is null and void. No need for idle threats, back and forth banter, and false accusations. This blog is read by all, those who show love to and those who hold disdain and repulsion for me, so my statement is out there. I have zero problem protecting myself and my own against desperation. Desperation reeks the air with cowardice and maliciousness and I refuse to be the focus of anyone's hatred, jealousy, and/or fear.

The funniest thing happened when I read DFW HipHop.........I finally saw what a male vagina looks like and truthfully, it wasnt a pretty sight.

The Funniest Thing Happened........

........while promoting my mixtape, "Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1. Thats right, its through and ready for FREE DOWNLOAD NOW! Feel free to check it out: Sign Joulz Il Myspace Page

Anyway, as I was saying, I got on DFW HipHop to promote my new mixtape and this guy, Smudgey, decides to plague my post with non sense. Dont believe me.....CHECK IT OUT!

This is me:

Joulz Il
Today, 04:59 PM
Post #1
skr8 n00bGroup: MembersPosts: 2Joined: 20-December 06Member No.: 2454
And now time for a small commercial break..... Sign Joulz Il Official WebpageHi, Im Joulz Il. As you may know from previous NasirJones interviews....HIP HOP IS DEAD! SO ARE ROCK&ROLL AND R&B! While I cant do anything about rock and R&B,I can probably help get a start on resurrecting whatgood old fashioned lyricists call HIP HOP. Are youtired of rappers writing SLOW, SENSUOUS LOVE BALLADS(yes, BALLADS!) to OTHER GUYS? Are you sick of whinersCRYING about who messed them over? Fed up withARTHRITIC (yes, ARTHRITIC) and ASTHMATIC emceesmimicking tough guys over lackluster beats? Well lookand listen in disgust no more! Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1is AVAILABLE NOW! FREE! 100% DOWNLOADABLE! You wantsoulful introspection? CHECK! You want pugilisticwordplay? CHECK! You want that guy that sounds likeyour little cousin Ray-ray with a mouthful of chickenrapping in PRO-TOOLS? KEEP IT MOVING! 15 TRACKS OF NO FRILLS,NO NONSENSE HIP HOP! AND ITS ALL FREE! GO COPTHAT! NOW! The Mixtape is downloadable here:Sign Joulz Il Official WebpageAdd yourself as a friend to the new page for Joulz Il. The old page will be gone SOON! Dont get left behind! THE MOVEMENT STARTS NOW!!!!Sign Joulz Il Official Webpage--------------------
Joulz Il

This is him:

emortul spitter
Today, 06:00 PM

Man get tha f*ck outta here with the dissing bullshit - just promote your damn project. Ok people he's talking about me LaJohn Manoy aka Smooth D. aka Emortul Spitter subliminally - so what, I'm talking about this nigga directly:(http://www.myspace.com/emortulzsmoothd) - listen to FU(Jou). Def Jam didn't want you - get over it. SOMEBODY SIGN THIS NIGGA ALREADY so he can move on and stop focusing on me and trying to spread lies or prove he's a better writer/rapper/whatever, stop hating on Big Tuck cuz we all use to be down with each other and now Tuck made it and don't fuck with you, and stop hating the city of Dallas cause they aint supporting you. You talk about people's music, what about the horrible mixing and no mastering of your shit - hell the tracks that are tight have a negative response because of how they sound, some-what ok beats (when you're on original beats), find your own rhyme style and vocal tone - one minute you're a jamaican Jay-Z then a Houston-Sounding Eminem, I'm glad you have a vast vocabulary (that u keep borrowing from the dictionary when you're writing cuz u didn't already know those words) - people don't even know what tha fuck you talking bout and most of all Joulz Il Duce the name - you're right there can only be one.2007 is going to see alot of you're hating nature towards me and I'm so ready for it because you can't seem to beat me no matter what you say or what you do. My success will come from my hard-work, making good music, handling my own business and not letting you stop what I do or what I say or how I feel about anything. You do nothing but make it easier for me to move forward because I'm steady looking back at what you've become versus what you could have been. I'm sorry Jou if you're life is so empty that I have to be your main target for you to progress.If you want to dead this shit, fight (oh wait you still on probabtion for child endangerment or is it the traffic tickets Mr. Gangsta), apologize or whatever:

(Sidenote: It was at this point in the posting that he decided to place his contact info. Seriously.)

I'm sure I'll see you in 2007 seeing as you plan to move in all the places I move in (like on this board which you only visited for like 2 weeks as The Watcher to argue with me under a fake name). Let's see who wins and who loses. That is all.

Completely trying to understand his motives, I decided to respond back.

This is ME:

Joulz Il
Today, 07:40 PM
Post #3
skr8 n00bGroup: MembersPosts: 2Joined: 20-December 06Member No.: 2454

*"Man get tha fuck outta here with the dissing bullshit - just promote your damn project. Ok people he's talking about me LaJohn Manoy aka Smooth D. aka Emortul Spitter subliminally - so what, I'm talking about this nigga directly:"

WOW!!! Where did this feeling come from? Is this because I made references to someone making SLOW, SENSUOUS LOVE BALLADS (yes, BALLADS!) to OTHER GUYS? Is this something that you have done, perhaps? I never mentioned anyone's NAME! Im sorry if that pulled a heart string for you. The last I checked, no one knows YOU! And why would I consider an artist who hasnt made it, such as myself, a threat?

*"(http://www.myspace.com/emortulzsmoothd) - listen to FU(Jou)."

LOL!!!!!! You seem to be a bit of the "angry" at someone who doesnt affect you, but thats just my take on it. However, thanks for the PROMOTION!!!! Sign Joulz Il Official Myspace Page

*"Def Jam didn't want you - get over it. SOMEBODY SIGN THIS NIGGA ALREADY so he can move on and stop focusing on me and trying to spread lies or prove he's a better writer/rapper/whatever, stop hating on Big Tuck cuz we all use to be down with each other and now Tuck made it and don't fuck with you, and stop hating the city of Dallas cause they aint supporting you. "

As far as my not signing to Def Jam, that just hasnt been negotiated YET. Wow, I didnt think that was common knowledge. How did you find out that I was in talks with Def Jam? Did Brian Postelle from Virgin tell you that? Dont know who that is? (I figured that you wouldn't.) Concerning Big Tuck, I spoke to him about two weeks ago. He doesnt seem to think that I am hating on him, why would you? And as far as my love for Dallas......CHECK OUT THE MIXTAPE, PEOPLE! TRACK #2!*

"You talk about people's music, what about the horrible mixing and no mastering of your shit - hell the tracks that are tight have a negative response because of how they sound"

Are you referring to the last tracks that you heard from me, possibly on DP over a year and a half ago? Material in which the public was told that they were UNMIXED and UNMASTERED PREVIEW TRACKS? Hmm, I guess one listen to "FU Jou" (Hi-yah!!!! Im sorry, I couldnt resist! It reminds me of an whack old kung fu flick with Jim Kelly! LOL! You suck! FU Jou, getdafuggouttahere!) would have people to believe that your mixing and mastering skills are the best that Dallas has to offer! Maybe, thats why you have to post your lyrics on everything that you do, but I digress. (Digress- it means to back away from the subject and I didnt get that from the dictionary. YAY!)

*"some-what ok beats (when you're on original beats)"

Hmm, lets see why should I waste my time doing all original beats when honestly......NO ONE CARES!!!! (Wait....thats what YOU do, isnt it? Oooh.....that has to hurt.) I might as well just get the music that is readily available and known and save a lot more money and time, but that shouldnt stop you from working SO HARD on your platinum sound!

*"find your own rhyme style and vocal tone - one minute you're a jamaican Jay-Z then a Houston-Sounding Eminem"

Jay-Z? Eminem? Gee, THANKS! Man, this tops the time that you told Entity from 5 Starr Entertainment that I was supremely talented!

*"I'm glad you have a vast vocabulary (that u keep borrowing from the dictionary when you're writing cuz u didn't already know those words)

Just because I dont feel the need to place typos on everything that I write or I choose to speak with a diction that promotes proper English usuage, does NOT mean that I am using a dictionary. Unlike you, I chose to expand my vocabulary after I left the sixth grade.

*"people don't even know what tha fuck you talking bout and most of all Joulz Il Duce the name - you're right there can only be one."

Self explanatory. Just read the quote. What did you just say to me? My name, quite simply, is Joulz Il.

*"2007 is going to see alot of you're hating nature towards me and I'm so ready for it because you can't seem to beat me no matter what you say or what you do."

Dude, seriously, why would I hate YOU? Who are YOU? No one knows YOU. No one cares about YOU. No one takes YOU seriously. Beat YOU? (LOL!)

*"My success will come from my hard-work, making good music, handling my own business and not letting you stop what I do or what I say or how I feel about anything."

Good for YOU! Im glad to see that you have some type of self esteem....LEFT.

*"You do nothing but make it easier for me to move forward because I'm steady looking back at what you've become versus what you could have been."Really you think about me THAT MUCH?!

*"I'm sorry Jou if you're life is so empty that I have to be your main target for you to progress."

Wow! Again, who are YOU?

*"If you want to dead this sh*t, fight (oh wait you still on probabtion for child endangerment or is it the traffic tickets Mr. Gangsta), apologize or whatever:"

Fight?! Why would I fight YOU? I dont make it a point to beat up on the elderly. (How are those legs? You able to get around now?) On top of that, I dont actually have the TIME, I have real meetings to attend now. (I barely had the time to write this, but its the holidays, why not?) And as far as my background, AGAIN, how do you know so much personal info (albeit bits and pieces) about me? It seems a bit stalker-like.

*"I'm sure I'll see you in 2007 seeing as you plan to move in all the places I move in (like on this board which you only visited for like 2 weeks as The Watcher to argue with me under a fake name)."

Yes, Im pretty sure that in my networking, we will end up at some of the same places. (Dallas is not THAT BIG.) And as far DFWHipHop, since when was anyone from the Dallas music scene NOT ALLOWED ANYWHERE? That seems like a bit of an elitist attitude. You're really full of yourself, arent you? Please, control your emotions! A screen name is just that a pseudonym. (Hopefully I didnt confuse you with that last one.)

*"Let's see who wins and who loses."

Wins or loses what?

Anyway people, check out my new mixtape "Sign Joulz Il: Volume 1", so that someone can do what emortul spitter says.....SIGN JOULZ IL !!!!!!! (Im pretty sure that he's going to go download it right now....YOU SHOULD TOO! LOL!!!)--------------------
Joulz Il

I just found it funny that someone would go through that much trouble behind someone who honestly hasnt done anything to them. Moreover behind someone who honestly could care less about what they do. (Funny. Notice the picture.) Its a trip to see that there are people out there who become obsessed with what you do. So much so that they feel the need to try to downplay your growth and your progression. I just want to make music. Thats all. Good music. Fun music. Music that wont get a nigger shot. I dont talk tough or glamorize anything that I have been through that I feel is negative nor do I make that the focus of my music. Again, responsibility. Normally, a guy would get on his blog and rant and rave about what he was going to do to the other guy, but honestly, why waste time? Im very sad. Sad that someone has to stoop to this level of immaturity just to get attention for something that should be attention grabbing within itself. Anyway, thats my two cents. Im just trying to make it. Just trying to do what I can to live a lifelong dream and NO ONE...........NO ONE EXCEPT FOR GOD HIMSELF can dictate to me if that is going to happen or not. I refuse to play into idiocy just to make someone feel justified for their actions. To the gentleman that I mentioned above, all I have to say is........

"Grow up. You're still living in a high school world in which the things that you do are important. Please stop being full of yourself. Its a long fall back to humility and I wouldnt wish that fall on my worst enemy. I dont take kindly to being called out or goaded on to see if you can get some type of response of me in anger. Its just not my thing. I spent enough of my life in an angry, rage-filled ball and it seems like that is what you are doing right now. I pray that you find help, find a purpose, find a clue, and above all, find a higher power that can guide you and help you with the anger issues that you have and all the pent up rage that you seem to direct towards ME."

I choose normally not to address such stupidity, but I couldnt help, but to laugh at the manner in which I was approached after everything. Anyway, I will keep you all posted on what happens with the mixtape. Thanks for reading.

Perfection?

Im not sure what defines sexy anymore, or if I ever really knew. Everyone has their own definition. Last night I had a conversation with my wife and we talked about our past relationships. Its crazy, the guy that came right before me was a total and complete LAME. I mean, according to her, there was nothing about him that she remotely liked and he was never her number one choice in ANYTHING! Ironically, neither was the girl who tried to be with me right before I met her. You never want to place yourself in a situation where someone is not your all. I remember telling my ex countless amounts of times "Im just not physically attracted to you, BUT our relationship doesnt revolve around the physical." This was my futile attempt at not being shallow. It came to my attention, after my wife stopped LAUGHING, that I may have crushed my ex's spirit and self esteem by saying that. Her comment, "No woman wants to EVER hear that you arent physically attracted to them. She probably went back through all of her old relationships to see if they thought the same way you did and now, every relationship that she gets in, she's going to question him, too. Burn!" It wasnt meant to be funny, but my ex wasnt exactly a 10 and it seems that everytime I speak about her, its never in a positive light. Isnt that strange? You're with someone for just about 2 years of your life and you NEVER have found them the least bit attractive. Honestly, my wife and I go absolutely nuts over one another. I mean crazy. Sometimes, so much that it seems unreal. This leads me to think, are other couples as equally excited about one another or are they just going through the motions? Honestly, with the disrespect for marriage that people seem to have today, its a wonder that anyone is truly happily married anymore. Everyone seems to believe that marriage is some crappy commitment that can be easily thrown off for a little "outside intervention." Thats garbage. I personally think that everyone needs someone and that there is someone that is meant for everyone. Honestly, our exes would be perfect for one another. LOL!

The mixtape is still being mixed and it still sounds great. I finally came up with a suitable name, but you have to keep some surprises, so I guess you all will have to wait and see what it is, now won't you? LOL! December is still the month! Im asking that if you read this, take the time to pray. Pray about anything, but just acknowledge God's existence. Im focusing this week on bettering my prosperity in life. Financially, mentally, spiritually, familywise, physically, basically everything. Find your focus and give God some of your time.

"........even sinners got souls." -Shug Avery-The Color Purple

Am I Alone Or........

do more young women seem to have less and less respect for themselves these days? To promote online, I have a slew of pages that I normally go to and post up different pics, links, quotes, and what have you and most of the time, I still get personal requests to talk, chat, say hi, etc. The funny thing is that most of these young women seem to have zero respect for themselves or anything for that matter. I know you're reading this like......"Jou, what in the world does this have to do with music?" Let me explain myself. I spent a lot of time in my musical training era of being with different "labels" and "camps", and most of the time, I would write true recollections of my real life misogyny, hedonism, and debauchery and I would never care about who it would affect or how it would look. As a man, you have to put down the toys of your youth. The devices of ignorance that you carried around as the representation of what type of man you were. No one REALLY wants to be labeled a whoremonger, do they? Well, I didnt, so I felt the need to rearrange and redirect my lyrics and my purpose when it came down to recording. A lot of the young ladies who have sent me messages have been immediately directed to partake in my myspace page, particularly a song entitled "Do You Believe.....". The song is about being in love, finding someone who completes you so much that you actually have zero qualms about expressing this. You would not believe the amount of young women who have never had someone to tell them that they love them and actually SHOW it! Im opening my eyes to realize that as someone who will soon be looked toward for some type of affection in the eyes of some of these young ladies.....I DONT WANT TO BE A BAD INFLUENCE. I dont want to be that artist who is in the tabloids or in Vibe Confidential or even as a blurb on the Wendy Williams Show for being "the never ending manwhore". I would love to be the type of artist that receives good press for being a gentleman, for doing something to actually uplift women, for NOT being known to have groupies running down the hallway naked from room to room. If this makes me a boring artist, so be it. I want to make a stand personally, in my music, to make sure that young women, especially young BLACK women, KNOW FOR CERTAIN that they dont have to be disrespectful of themselves and they dont have to degrade themselves to be loved. Its a sad sight to see a young lady who obviously doesnt know you, offer her services in the art of fellatio to you, in hopes of latching herself on to someone who APPEARS to be on the rise. I pray that this mindframe is the mindframe that God keeps me in. I found out that 50's new album is called "Before I Self Destruct". Man, that's the thought that keeps me walking the straight and the narrow path everyday! That's the thought that makes me discipline myself now BEFORE any type of fame or fortune comes my way. No one wants to self destruct in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the public. Am I alone or does it seem like the more things change, the more they stay the same?

A Purifying Experience

Winter is always a time in which everything is normally reborn, renewed, or refurbished. Im extremely excited about the mixtape. I had a lot of fun recording it, which is something that normally wouldnt happen for me. If you've been reading, then you know about everything that has transpired in my life and honestly, the mixtape was therapeutic for me. I got a lot of anxiety out of the way and I felt really good about doing it. I was able to make a recording that I personally feel was well rounded. It got me back to the way that I have always loved doing music....EXPRESSIVELY. Being able to record is something that always should be done with a love, a passion, a real message and a desire to talk about something other than locality. I have always despised being pigeon-holed, so I took steps to at least try to do something outside of the normal on the new mixtape and I am so excited. The working title most likely isnt going to be the title that I go with after all, but things change, so you cant be stuck on the little things and ideas are made to be knocked down and re-hashed. I have been on notice that I am becoming a different artist, a better artist, and a consummate professional when it comes down to recording and just trying to build a career in music period. Its amazing the amount of people that I have come in contact with in such a small time that are truly WAITING and PRAYING for something to happen for me. It brings a smile to my face and I pray that I dont disappoint them in my actions. Life itself, can be an eye opening experience. If someone would have told me at 15, that this would be it for me, I would have laughed at them and kept right on moving. Still, at 25, I have accepted that life isnt perfect and that as a human, I am entitled to make mistakes. Some of those mistakes have been costly and have affected a vast amount of people, but that's why there is always redemption. Some people have demons that they just cant deal with and that seems strange to me. Some people have skeletons that chase them all around the room and never let them sleep. Me? Well, I sleep easier at night now. When you are doing things the right way, you have ZERO reason to fear anything. Be it man or beast, Be it word or sword, Be it war or ill wishes.....IM FOCUSED! I saw the house that Im going to buy the other day and it was just another confirmation that my life has taken a 360 degree turn for the better. Man, if you're reading this and you put yourself in my position, you too would smile. Life is good. Anyway, Im babbling. I got a chance to hear four of the new tracks in post production and I cannot wait to share them with everyone. I think they are fierce, but......what does my opinion matter? No one makes music for themselves. A true artist makes music for the people, the listeners, the masses. Being in front of the public eye is going to truly be a test for me. Fame is going to truly be a blessing for me. Quite frankly, the money wont hurt either. LOL! You have to leave something behind that people can say...."Hey, he/she did that." NO ONE can take that away from you. Here in Dallas, it snowed the other day and it was very enjoyable. I was able to spend time with my loved ones and of course my betrothed and all in all, I had a great day. I realized that there is something that I do now that a lot of people that I know dont do..........I SMILE! And smiling is truly a purifying experience.